When I was a kid, my family would spend our summers frolicking on the beaches of the New Jersey shore. My mom, never once to mince words or, for that matter, worry about my self-esteem, would plead a case of fun and a boatload of new friends if only I would take off the t-shirt that I insisted on wearing over my bathing suit.

As I got older, the pleading moved away from the losing battle of the t-shirt to her best intentions of making me into someone she thought would be an instant success and millionaire — if only I would speak up and be more assertive in life.

It still irks my mom that not only have I NOT reached the pinnacle of pushiness, but, have instead, settled into a label that has the words “too nice” written all over me. Yes, even today, the terms: “too nice,” and “push-over” still hang over my head from my well-meaning friends and colleagues.

Why is being too nice such a bad thing? Why do we assume that if someone is too nice, they are being walked over, pushed around, or not respected? Why is being too nice perceived with such negative connotations? Really, I don’t get it.

I am assuming, and we all know what that means, that being too nice just doesn’t pay off. If I follow their advice and be what? Tougher? Meaner? More assertive? Then, what? I will be considered what? Tougher, Meaner? More assertive? I don’t want to be that person. That’s not me. I can’t change who I am anymore than you can change who you are. Better yet, I don’t want to change.

Honestly, I am okay with who I have become over the past fifty years. I have been blessed with such a good life. I have a job I love. I have a supportive and loving family. I am content with the person who I grown to be – even if it means having a so-called reputation of being too nice.

Perhaps, my definition of too nice differs from others. I have always believed that being “too nice,” is a good thing – right up there with being kind, empathetic, and patient.

In a world that is embedded with so much hate, anger, and pain — being too nice doesn’t seem too bad.