This letter is for you. The one who got cat called walking down the street, hit on by an adult on public transportation,  harassed at work or cannot fathom that people do not understand the word “no.” Do not let these forms of sexual harassment bring you down.. You are so much stronger than what happens to you.

Unfortunately, for most young women who are harassed it is very easy to sum up the experience as  it being  “your fault,”  or  countless “what ifs and if onlys.” According to a simple definition search on Google, Sexual harassment is  defined “in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.  Huffington Post reports that 1 of 3 women have been sexually harassed in the workplace.

To the girls and boys who have experienced sexual harassment/assault; This is not your fault. This is not because you are attractive, what you wear, what you say. This is because people do not know boundaries whatsoever. This is something society as a whole needs to work together on.

Stop blaming the victim.

Harassment is degrading and embarrassing to the victim. Economically it hurts the majority of women harassed in the workplace who decide to quit their jobs to stop the harrassment. The  victim already suffers emotionally and physically and add to this, a financial burden.

Sexual harrasment will keep happening until society stops blaming and shaming victims.

Do not call someone who was sexuallly harrassed “looking for attention or bragging” There needs to be a change in society were young men and women can walk down the street at night or in daylight and not fear for someone attacking them.

Do not tell me that “boys will be boys” men are not inherently violent. From the playground to the office, we here this. Men have a this shield in an excuse for their actions. Men are not at all inclined to channel their emotions which is bad for both men and women. For men it feeds off of negative stereotypes that men by nature are indecent. Men should be taught at a young age that having feelings and feeling vulnerable at times is completely okay and girls should not be the only one with feelings. Boys however also have “act like a man” breathing down their neck.  “Boys will be boys” and “act like a man” comes with horrific consequences for both genders.

The rest of this letter is to you.

As a sixteen year old girl, I should not have to carry pepper spray on my key chain, or have it out on the train, or carry it in my hand walking back to my car. I shouldn’t have to look behind my shoulder walking down the street in fear of someone following me.  I shouldn’t have to walk down the street and hear “let me see what’s under that dress” from a group of laughing men in a car.  I should not have to worry about what I wear in fear someone would get the wrong idea.

Do not tell me to “take it as a compliment he just thinks you’re pretty” no this is not how it works. I shouldn’t not be able to look people in the eye because of fear what they are going to say to me.

Contrary to what many want to think, Sexual harassment is not a confidence booster. To sexual harassers, what makes any of this okay? In what mind did you ever think “Oh I can get away with it”

No it is not flirting.  No, I will not take it as a compliment because it’s not.

So please explain to me, harassers, “why is any of this okay?